Lord Bravery and Squire Determination
by albinotanuki
Summary: Lord Bravery is given his own spin-off with the condition he take in a new sidekick.
1. Chapter 1

Lord Bravery waited outside before he was called in by his agent.

"Alright, lets get this over with. What did you want to see me for?" asked Lord Bravery as he sat down in front of his agent's desk.

"Well, Lord Bravery, it looks like the WB wants to give you your own spin-off show." said his agent.

"Oh? Is that all?" said Lord Bravery, "Yes, I'm all for it."

"Hold on." said the agent.

"Oh why am I not surprised that there's a catch." groaned Lord Bravery.

"They want to give you a spin-off as long as you have a sidekick." said the agent.

"A SIDEKICK?!" said Lord Bravery, "Why would I need a sidekick? I'm perfectly capable of rescuing people and stopping crime on my own."

"Yes, well, certain groups have complained that the Lord Bravery segment are too... homogenous." said the agent.

"Oh. I think I know which groups you're talking about." said Lord Bravery.

"So, we got you a new sidekick to help you on your adventures." said the agent.

At that moment, a younger Spanish man dressed eerily similar to Don Quixote, walked into the room.

"Lord Bravery, I want you to meet Squire Determination." said the agent, "I recommend you be nice to him."

Lord Bravery sighed as he went up to Squire Determination.

"Alright, Squire Determination, I am glad to have you on my side."

"Que?" asked Squire Determination.

"Oh no. Please don't tell me he can't speak English." said Lord Bravery.

"He can speak a little." said the agent, "Again, I recommend you be nice to him; you don't want those certain groups getting mad."

Lord Bravery sighed.

"Alright, but this isn't going to make my job any easier." said Lord Bravery before turning to Squire Determination, "Come on, Squire Determination."

"Que?" said Squire Determination.

Lord Bravery face palmed.


	2. Chapter 2

Lord Bravery was out patrolling the city of London, looking through a pair of binoculars, when Squire Determination came with a cup of tea in his hand.

"Here's your tea, Senor." said Squire Determination.

"Thank you, Squire Determination." said Lord Bravery.

Lord Bravery took the cup, sipped from it, and then spit it out.

"This is chamomile! I asked for Earl Grey!" shouted Lord Bravery.

"But Senor, the lady, she say it make you calm." said Squire Determination.

"I don't need to be calm; I need to be alert." said Lord Bravery.

"Si! I sorry!" said Squire Determination.

"It's alright. It's your first day on the job; I won't hold you accountable." sighed Lord Bravery.

It was at that moment, an alarm from a bank sounded.

"Ah. A robbery." said Lord Bravery, "Come along, Squire Determination."

Lord Bravery flew down to the bank just as the robber was about to escape. Lord Bravery grabbed the robber by the collar.

"Feel the swift justice of Lady Britannia!"

Lord Bravery punched the robber and Squire Determination tied him up with a rope.

"Good work, Squire Determination." said Lord Bravery before handing him a cellphone, "Now I need you to call 911 and alert the police."

"Nueve?" asked the Squire Determination.

"Nueve nueve." said Lord Bravery.

"Oh! Noventa y nueve!" said Squire Determination.

"No! Nueve nueve nueve!" said Lord Bravery.

"Oh! Si!"

Squire Determination pressed 999 on the cellphone and was greeted by an operator.

"Hello, operator here. What's your 999 emergency?" asked the operator.

"Que?" asked Squire Determination.

"GIVE ME THAT!" said Lord Bravery as he took the cellphone away from Squire Determination and started talking on it, "Yes, this is Lord Bravery. My sidekick and I have just stopped a robbery at the bank."

Lord Bravery then spotted Squire Determination loosening the rope around the robber.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Sorry Senor. He was getting uncomfortable." said Squire Determination.

"YOU DON'T LOOSEN A ROPE TIED AROUND THE BAD GUY YOU-"

"Hey, were you about to use a xenophobic slur?" asked the robber.

"No, I wasn't about to use a xenophobic slur, I was just trying to stifle my frustration." said Lord Bravery.

"Sounds like something a xenophobe would say." said the robber.

"I'M NOT A XENOPHOBE!"

At that moment, the police came and handcuffed Lord Bravery

"You're under arrest for attempting to make xenophobic slurs." said the police officer.

"What?! When did THAT become law?" asked Lord Bravery.

"So you admit you're a xenophobe." said the police officer.

"I AM NOT!" said Lord Bravery.

"Tell it to the judge." said the police officer.


	3. Chapter 3

Lord Bravery was take to court. He stood in front of the judge as the judge read his case.

"Lord Bravery, you have been arrested for attempting to make a xenophobic slur." said the Judge, "How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honor." said Lord Bravery, "The truth is, I was about to call Squire Determination something else, but I stopped myself from saying it."

"And WHAT were you going to call him?" asked the judge.

"...I was going to call him an idiot." said Lord Bravery candidly.

"And you DO realize that the word 'idiot' has historically been used to refer to people with intellectual disabilities?" asked the judge.

"Yes, your honor." said Lord Bravery.

"We have someone here who's an advocate for the intellectually disabled who'd like to speak."

A large, green alien with the letters "L" and "R" on his shirt and a baby bottle shaped helmet stood up.

"I AM MO-RON!" said the alien.

"No, no. You're name is Bo-Ron. Remember?" said the judge, "Mo-Ron is politically incorrect."

"Ooh." said the alien.

"Okay, I realize calling people idiots is not the nicest thing, but I wasn't using the term to disparage the mentally handicapped." said Lord Bravery.

"It's still casual ableism none-the-less, Lord Bravery." said the judge.

"Look, don't you think that nitpicking over every supposed microaggression, you're ultimately allowing for actual bigots to roam the streets?" asked Lord Bravery.

"Are you questioning our laws, Lord Bravery?" asked the judge.

"Yes. Yes I am." said Lord Bravery.

The judge struck the gavel.

"Life in prison." said the judge.

"WHAT?!" said Lord Bravery.

At that moment, Squire Determination came into the court room.

"Senor! I pay for the bail out!"

Squire Determination presented Lord Bravery with a halfpenny.

"What?! A halfpenny?!" said Lord Bravery, "A halfpenny isn't going to-"

"You're free to go." said the judge as he struck the gavel once more.

"Oh, well that was convenient." said Lord Bravery in shock and relief, "Thank you, Squire Determination."


End file.
